Have you ever wanted to be smart, sexy, smell good, and have the ability to read peoples minds? If so, you’ve come to the right place. Don’t worry, you’re the only one who will get this special deal. You will be unique among your friends, elevated among mere mortals. You will have it before it’s popular. A trendsetter, yet still aloof and individualistic. Not mainstream in any way, yet coveted by the mainstream. Not convinced? Check out these other people who have it, they look happy. Look how many friends they have. Do you smell that? They sweat yet still smell like roses, spend money yet still have piles in reserve, drive fast yet never get tickets, drink like an 80’s hair band yet never get hungover. They have it. You want it. Bad. You can’t live without this. You will literally not be happy until it is yours. It’s a small price to pay for eternal and ultimate satisfaction. This will reshape your life, turn your garbage into gold, place a crown upon your head. You will float on clouds, read peoples minds, live a charmed life.
You need this in order to be happy. Trust me.
Back to reality.
The above is my best attempt at mimicking the marketing I (and you) am bombarded with daily, hourly, secondly(sp?). It has made me increasingly cynical, increasingly suspicious, and increasingly sick of the non-stop barrage. Things don’t bring happiness. Is anyone still unaware of this? Michael Jackson had his own theme park and zoo…at his house. Do you think he died happy? The marketers must go to increasing lengths to keep selling us the old lie. Now they have to resort to marketing that does not appear like marketing less we realize they are up to their old tricks. Where does it stop, when does it end? I’ve stopped paying attention to the rampant and blatant product placement in films and television. Is there anything that’s not brought to us by the makers of something? Even fruits and vegetables are branded. Thanks for reading, now I’m going to turn off my MacBook Pro, plug in my iPhone, get my Starbucks coffee ready and hit the road in my Honda filled with gasoline provided by the Shell company and drive to the mall brought to me by American Express to buy some more cheap plastic crap that I don’t need. Just kidding…sort of.
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