Monthly Archive for July, 2010

5 Rules For The Movie Theater

Published on July 21, 2010 in 5 rules. 6 Comments

I have been known to take in a movie in the theater on occasion, and when I do, I invariably end up paying more attention to the people around me than to the actual movie. Maybe this is due to the fact that people act like they are home on their couch watching a movie, instead of in a theater with several hundred other people. I had some free time so I came up with a list of 5 rules for the movie theater.

1) Arrive early. You don’t want to miss the 45 minutes of previews and commercials that they play prior to the feature presentation.

2) Chew your popcorn as quietly as possible. I have been in movies where even the ear bleeding volume levels of the theater sound system was not loud enough to drown out the guy behind me stuffing fistful after fistful of crunchy popcorn into his mouth. Better yet, don’t buy popcorn, it’s not part of a balanced 2,000 calorie diet.

3)  Go to the bathroom before the movie starts. If you have a small bladder, don’t sit in the middle of the row.

4) When you have reached the bottom of your “barrel o’soda”, sucking on the straw and generating loud slurping noises is not going to magically refill your drink, only the guy at the “refreshment” stand can do that for the small fee of 8 dollars.

5) Don’t actively engage in the movie by yelling at the villain or cheering when the hot guy takes off his shirt. No one goes to the movies to listen to your ad-libbed soundtrack.

This list may or may not have been created after watching the latest Twilight movie in the theater. Have a rule you feel should be added to this list? Let me know in the comments.

The Wind Does What It Wants

Published on July 4, 2010 in Observations. 0 Comments

The wind is an interesting force. It can be felt but not seen directly. It is visible only in the effect it has on our physical surroundings. The bending trees, whipping grass, and billowing dirt, are all visible incarnations of the wind. The wind can be both a positive and a negative force. It can generate electricity through wind turbines, cool us off on a hot summer day, or push a sailboat across a lake. It can rip the roof off a house, intensify the misery of an ice cold winter day, or push a small grass fire into a roaring 50 square mile inferno.

The wind seems to have a life all its own. It can speak as it rushes through trees and past buildings. It can spring out of nowhere, and disappear just as suddenly. It is both loved and hated depending on the situation. A bike ride into a strong head wind can be miserable, just as a dead still, broiling hot summer day can be miserable. Flying a kite in the wind is pleasant just as sitting on the porch listening to a wind chime is pleasant.

The wind comes and goes, sometimes we wish for it, and sometimes we wish for it to go away. The wind doesn’t know or care what we want, what it wants is to rush on and on, and what the wind does best is what it wants.