Monthly Archive for May, 2010

What Are You Doing Today?

Published on May 28, 2010 in Observations. 2 Comments

Of late, on visits to my beloved Starbucks, I have encountered a question which I find mildly invasive. It begins when I walk up to the counter and stare up at the big board, pretending I don’t know what I’m going to order. After a few moments of supposed hesitation I rattle off a drink in perfect coffee ordering fashion. Now the awkward part, I hand my card to the cashier, and then we both wait for the transaction to process. It is this 3 or 4 seconds that I fear. Inevitably the cashier will feel obliged to engage me in small talk. I can understand this, it’s good customer service. What I dread are the probing questions. The question I dislike most? “What are you doing today?” or “What do you have going on today?” Now some people may have no problem with this question and happily tell the cashier about their ongoing divorce proceedings, debilitating medical conditions, or worst yet, their boring job. I am not one of those people. I have no problem broadcasting on Twitter or Facebook what I happen to be doing at the moment, but I have a very hard time telling a live stranger what I have planned for the day. I usually end up muttering something unintelligibly, and leaving as quickly as possible. I have also been known to take an easy out by saying something like “oh you know…” or “just the usual”. The truth is, I am almost always caught off guard by the question. What am I doing today? What should I be doing today? What do I want to do today? To boil my day down into one item which I can then tell a complete stranger is mission impossible. My recommendation to Starbucks? Tell your employees to talk about the weather. The weather is obvious. My plans for the day? Not so obvious.

Let’s Have Dinner

Published on May 21, 2010 in Observations. 6 Comments

Back in the far gone days of my youth, I was given an assignment by an English teacher which I still remember to this day. We were asked to write about the 3 people we would invite to dinner if we could invite anyone who ever lived. While I don’t remember who I chose to write about at the time, I am going to give it a shot now. The task of picking only 3 people throughout all of time could in itself consume pages and pages of writing. I will spare you the pain, and cut straight to the chase. The 3 people I chose to invite are George Washington, Alexander the Great, and Adolf Hitler. My reason for making these choices came down to the fact that I would like to ask all these individuals several questions Let’s get started.

Good

George Washington: I am fascinated by George Washington for many reasons. I recently had the pleasure of visiting Mount Vernon and the amazing museum which resides there, and was once again impressed with the kind of man he was. There are very few people in human history who have voluntarily given up political power, but George Washington not only turned down the opportunity to be king, he walked away from the power he had of his own will. He was an amazing leader, able to motivate people through the darkest of times. He stayed true to his cause, and did not give up, even against overwhelming odds. He led a random group of untrained men to victory over the most powerful nation on earth at that time, and he did it without resorting to guerrilla warfare or suicide bombing. There are two questions I would like to ask George:

1. Why only two terms as president? Weren’t you worried about destabilizing a young nation at a crucial juncture by forcing it through a change of leadership?
2. What is your secret for motivating those under you? How did you keep men going through the dark times?

Close enough right?

Alexander the Great: I see Alexander the Great as one of the most interesting people who ever lived. He was tutored by Aristotle, at an incredibly young age he led an army across half of the known world and conquered it all, he thought of himself as a god, and died at a young age leaving us to wonder what could have been. His constant campaigning, marching back and forth across Asia, and fighting battle after battle is a testament to his skills as a leader. He is an interesting character, but a classic megalomaniac as all the success seems to have gone to his head in the end. This failing is what eventually turned his men against him. Here are my questions for Alex:

1. What was your end goal? Would you have ever stopped conquering and been content to rule most of the known world?
2. If you considered Greek culture so great, and wanted to conquer all non-Greek peoples, why did you adopt Persian customs? A little hypocritical don’t you think?

Evil

Adolf Hitler: While I see Hitler as being one of the darkest people of the 20th century, I also find him to be a fascinating person. Hitler was at the center of the defining moment of the last 100 years. His name is now the default standard of evil. Millions and millions of people lost their lives because of his existence, and yet millions of people idolized and followed his every word, even to this day. He was a fascinating man, obsessed with revenge, blinded by hatred, and certifiably crazy. Of Adolf I would ask:

1. Did you really hate the Jews, or was it all a show to give the German people a common enemy to hate and unite against?
2. Why did you think you could succeed where Napoleon failed, and conquer Russia? Did you really think fighting a war on two fronts was a good idea?

The more observant among you may have noticed that all the individuals I chose to invite were military leaders. It seems that wars make up most of the watershed moments in history, and because of this, it makes sense that some of the most influential people would be military leaders. To have the 3 men I have chosen together in the same room would make interesting dinner conversation.  Having Hitler at the table; who is a stark contrast to a man like George Washington, and a military genius like Alexander the Great, would in itself provide enlightening conversation, but there is also the contrast between George Washington, a humble man, and Alexander the Great, a self proclaimed god. It would be extremely interesting to see the interaction between these three. Would they argue? Would they agree? Would I be able to get a word in edgewise? I’ll never get the chance to find out. Who would you invite to dinner?

Brand Me

Published on May 14, 2010 in Observations. 4 Comments

As I pulled on a t-shirt the other day, it suddenly struck me how odd it is that I pay a company to advertise their brand for them. You see, I paid a decent sum of money for the shirt, and the shirt had a large company logo plastered across the front. When I walk down the street wearing this shirt, people are exposed to that brand. They too might make the decision to buy a similarly branded shirt, and the cycle continues. So why have we all been duped into letting companies advertise on our bodies for free? Look at the clothes people wore 40 years ago, very rarely was the brand emblazoned across the front. As the 1970′s rolled to a close, branding on clothing picked up speed until reaching the absolute saturation point that we have today.

A statement

Obviously people enjoy being branded, but why? Speaking from my own subconscious, I believe that we like wearing and being associated with a brand that we consider to be “cool”. So what makes a brand cool? Well marketing of course, but also the type of people associated with that brand. This is the reason clothing companies pay celebrities (or give it to them free) and the like to wear their clothes. Companies know that we like letting the world see who makes our clothes, because it gives us a certain sense of elitism, real or imagined. Wearing a brand also says something about the lifestyle we live or wish we lived. People who like golf wear golf brands. They want the world to know that golf is what they do. People who ride motocross wear motocross brands. They want the world to know they live the motocross lifestyle. People who are into sports wear athletic brands; they want to let every stranger on the street know that they are athletic. The list goes on. This may seem simplistic, but is it really? Why do you buy certain brands, because they are cheap? Because you like the colors? Because you think people will associate you with that brand and everything it stands for? Admit it or not, I’m guessing it’s the last one.

I’m not calling for a boycott of branded clothing. I will keep wearing my “Fox racing” t-shirt, and my “North Face” hoodie, and you can keep wearing your “Nike” shorts and “Abercrombie” sweater. Let’s just not kid ourselves, but admit that deep down, we like letting others know what companies we choose to be associated with.

Love It

Published on May 11, 2010 in Observations. 7 Comments

I love the English language. I like the English language. I greatly appreciate the English language. It’s the only language I know. Sure, I dabbled in Spanish during High School, but being able to say “Hola! Me llamo Josh” has never really helped me out in the real world. English is where I’m at, because it’s what I know. That being said, I sometimes feel as though English doesn’t always get across true meaning or feeling.


The most glaring example of English falling short on meaning occurs with the word ‘love’. To me, love is one of the most important words in the English language, yet the word love does not provide much depth of meaning. I love my morning coffee, I love my country, and I love my wife, but what’s the difference? Is my love for my wife equal to my love for Starbucks Yukon blend? Of course not, my love for my wife is exponentially greater, but English doesn’t get this across in a very satisfying way. Sure, there are other ways to describe my feelings for my wife, or for that matter coffee, but they feel cumbersome and still don’t impart the meaning I’m looking for. I adore my wife, I value my morning coffee, I cherish my wife, I like my morning coffee, these descriptions just fall short.

So what is to be done? The reality is that nothing will or can be done. Speakers of the English language will forever be handicapped in this manner. All hope is not lost however; those who speak English have the ability to interpret different meanings between uses of words. When I say I love coffee, no one assumes that my love for coffee is equal to or greater than my love for my wife. When I tell my wife that I love her, she knows that my love goes far beyond the simplicity of the word. It’s not the word, it’s the meaning behind the word. Maybe this is the secret strength of English, its ability to say without saying, to allow limitless meaning. I love it.

Watch Out For The Teenagers

Published on May 5, 2010 in Observations. 5 Comments

The teenage years are a strange phase of human life. They are like a warm up before a long race; the runners do a few short sprints, a slow jog around the warm up track, but nothing compared to the real race. The short sprints are not all comparable to a multiple mile race. In the same way, teenagers are waiting for adult hood to start. There are a few adult activities to practice but most of it is a waiting game. Waiting for time to pass till they become full fledged adults.

The center of the known universe

It seems as though most teens are not actually aware that they are not real adults yet. Many expect the perks of adulthood without the responsibility. They want the freedom and the lifestyle, but not the burdens and the self-sufficiency. Teenagers think making-out in a mall is real love, going to prom is the defining moment of their life, and getting a drivers license is a big accomplishment. Teenagers are very much unaware that the world does not revolve around them. This can be seen in typical teenager behavior in public places. Running crazily around malls, talking loudly in movies, harassing people on the street, fooling around in restaurants, teenagers bring mayhem wherever they go. To them, the world is their playground and everyone else just needs to get out of the way. This type of behavior becomes especially apparent when teens congregate in groups. Groups enable behavior that might not come out in a solitary individual. Beware large groups of teens, they are capable of anything.

Despite the fact that teenagers are annoying, there is something about them that also brings a smile to the face. The same traits that drive us crazy about them are also somewhat endearing. Who can resist smiling at immature oblivious behavior? It’s entertaining to see a teenager act like they are the center of the world. As life goes on, teenagers grow up, realize that they are just one of a bunch, and become like the rest of us. The next time you see a teenager creating havoc in a public area, relax, smile, and remember that the jokes on them. Reality will strike, and they will grow up.