There Is Mud On Your Phone Book – part 1

It was Fall midway through my college years. My friend and I were looking for a way to earn some much needed money in a part time way. After reading an ad in the local paper we decided delivering phone books was the quickest way to financial success. This might have been a good idea in a high density urban area, unfortunately our delivery area was in rural Idaho. We sometimes had to drive 5 miles between houses on dirt/gravel roads which was no problem for my trusty Nissan Pathfinder. We had many adventures during the month we were delivery boys. The people we met were almost always unusual. It turns out that rural Idahoans were a little distrustful of college kids running around their property. (Or should I say compounds?)

This particular story occurred late in the day on a Friday afternoon. It was already dark and we had only a few phone books left to drop off. It had rained heavily earlier in the day and the dirt roads were a mess. Up ahead we saw the road that led to one of the houses we had on our delivery list. The road ran sharply uphill into the darkness. I dropped into 4X4 and gunned it. As we hurtled up the hill I remember thinking that the mud seemed particularly deep in the area. Cresting the hill we saw the abandoned shack which we were supposed to deliver to. After placing a phone book neatly on the porch, I turned the Pathfinder around for the trip back down to the main road. The road we had just come up had a slight crest in the center so water would run off in either direction and this slight incline caused the Pathfinder to slowly slide off the road when at a standstill. This should give you an idea of just how slick the mud was. For some reason I felt the particular need to go fast. Muddy roads tend to do that to me. As soon as we started down I realized we were in trouble. What I had vaguely realized on the way up became rapidly apparent on the way down. The mud was deep and slippery. I tried to reduce my speed but this only caused the vehicle to fishtail and slide. I realized my only hope was to try and keep on the road until we got down the hill and then coast to a stop. Unfortunately I was going too fast and the road was too slick to have much control. About halfway down the hill the Pathfinder went into the ditch, leaning at about a 45 degree angle and resting against the dirt bank on the other side. We were screwed. It was the middle of nowhere, dark, starting to rain, and we were stuck in a deep ditch. I shifted into 4X4 low and tried to drive out of the ditch. No luck. The tires spun and kicked up mud. I was able to drive backwards and forwards a few feet in the ditch, but I could not get any traction if I tried to steer back onto the road. We sat there with the headlights blazing into nothingness, the rain falling, and the mud spinning off the tires. After a few minutes it became apparent we were not going to get out in this fashion.

…Onward to part 2